


Recurring Dreams

by Kate_Reid



Category: Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars Sequel Trilogy
Genre: Canon Compliant, Character Study, Ficlet Collection, Gen, Missing Scene
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-05-21
Updated: 2018-06-18
Packaged: 2019-05-09 16:16:54
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 25
Words: 5,722
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14719448
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Kate_Reid/pseuds/Kate_Reid
Summary: This is a series oftwenty-fourtwenty-five connected but non-sequential ficlets taking place before, during, and after TLJ.  Alltwenty-fourare complete.ETA 6/18/2018 - Bonus chapter 25 plus moodboard is live!  This is the actual end, I promise. :)





	1. You’ll Never See the End of the Road While You’re Traveling With Me

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I've now got a moodboard for this chapter, made by my fantastic beta, Lyssa!
> 
>  

Since no one else knew how to deal with them respectfully, the container of Amilyn’s belongings was silently given to Leia along with her own possessions. 

She smiled over her flamboyant friend’s clothing and jewelry. Every day, Amilyn wore symbols of her home at her wrists and on her head. After the destruction of Alderaan, Leia remembered being slightly jealous that Amilyn had a home to return to. 

But any thought Leia had of Amilyn was overlaid with Vice Admiral Holdo’s last command action, her final decision, the blindingly brilliant slash of the _Raddus_ through the _Supremacy._

So, when Leia’s hand closed over the small lavender bottle she found with Amilyn’s things, she knew exactly what to do. 

And nobody asked why General Leia Organa’s Alderaanian mourning braid suddenly bore a streak of purple.


	2. The Door of Your Heart

Supreme Leader Kylo Ren did not rest easily. He couldn’t close his eyes without seeing Rey closing the door of the _Millennium Falcon._ He cursed himself again and again for allowing her to see him at his worst. His father’s dice disappeared from his hand again and again. His father’s ship flew away from him again and again.

In a calmer galaxy, those dice and that ship belonged to him legally. Or equally to him and Chewie, anyway. He knew his father. And he knew his mother. On some world, his father had signed a will declaring that Han Solo’s share in the ship transferred to Ben Organa Solo upon Han’s death.

Sometimes, in his rare lighter moments, Kylo could spare a bitter chuckle. The only part of that damned ship he wanted was the door and the incandescent woman who stood in it.


	3. Counting The Steps

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I've now got a moodboard for this chapter, also made by the fabulous Lyssa!
> 
>  

When she lived on Jakku, with nothing but herself for amusement, Rey would count her steps. Since she could remember, she knew the number of steps to Unkar Plutt’s. She knew the number of steps from the hulks she scavenged to the dune where she always parked her speeder. 

She remembered how many steps took her to the craggy peak of Ahch-To and Luke Skywalker, the number of steps she’d spent following Skywalker till he’d finally spoken to her.

She’d wondered how many steps would take her back to her family, even as she counted her running steps into the lush Takodana forest, a number that ended when she collapsed, unconscious, into the arms of Kylo Ren.

Rey had guessed wildly at the number of steps she’d need to charge furiously at Kylo Ren in Starkiller’s snow.

She found, however, that the distance between herself and Ben Solo was incalculable, even as she remembered that space as a hand’s breadth.


	4. Many Battles are Lost

BB-8 would never admit it. He was used to keeping his concerns to himself. But when he rolled out into the mine on Crait, he fretted as his counting subroutine registered far fewer friendly life-forms than he expected. 

Before he could work himself into a frenzy of beeping, dome-spinning worry, he was engulfed in the arms of the friendliest life-form of all, Commander Poe Dameron. Yes, _Commander_ Dameron. BB-8, in a tiny act of droidly defiance, had never reprogrammed himself to reflect his master’s demotion.

BB-8 was reunited with Poe Dameron,and it felt so good. Together, they would put their losses behind them and fight on.


	5. My Possessions Are Causing Me Suspicion

Someone had thoughtfully gathered the shards of Kylo’s ruined helmet into a small container. Without a thought, he tossed the entire thing into the trash chute in his quarters.

Was there anything that belonged to him that _wasn’t_ broken? His grandfather’s lightsaber had exploded before his eyes, caught midair between him and Rey. He’d searched the throne room upon regaining consciousness and after putting Hux in his place, but the remains of the saber were gone with her.

He shouldn’t have been surprised. How like the scavenger to make off with his broken pieces.


	6. There’s a Battle Ahead

Finn tried hard not to fret over Rose as she lay in the bunk, drifting in and out of consciousness. He concentrated on the words she’d said to him--he was saving the kiss to overanalyze later. Saving . . . saving what we love, she’d said. 

He wondered about that. He’d gotten into that ancient speeder without a second thought, and so had Rose and Poe and so many others. Finn only had time now to wonder what in the galaxy had possessed him to do that, to fly into the face of certain death in that clapped-out rustbucket. 

But the same thing had happened over and over that day, hadn’t it? Luke Skywalker, facing down hundreds of guns and Kylo Ren; Rey and Chewie drawing off fire from squadrons of TIEs; Poe, following the vulptix though the winding caverns of the mine . . . and Rey again, using her ineffable powers to lift boulders and free the remnants of the Resistance. He heard whispers of what Vice Admiral Holdo had done, ramming the _Supremacy_ at lightspeed. 

Maybe there was something to that--seemingly irrational actions before the seemingly impossible. Love seemed more and more rational to him as time went on.


	7. To Build A Wall Between Us

He caught tiny glimpses of Rey sometimes, so brief and fleeting that he was never sure if he’d imagined them. He saw her just living her life, eating, laughing with her friends, doing maintenance on the _Falcon_ \--ah, that strut had been a problem since Ben could remember. Ben ached as he watched and cherished every one of the few seconds that the Force let him see her. Kylo closed his eyes against the pain.

She saw Kylo sometimes, sitting on the throne, issuing orders, looking bored. Rey actually giggled a little when she noticed the bacta patch on that nasty redhead’s hand where her new friend Rose had taken a chunk out. When she saw Ben, he was usually alone, meditating or unguarded after his rigorous workouts. It was those times that Rey had to close her eyes and turn away.


	8. There Is Freedom Without

Luke really should have known. How often did this happen to him, that thing where he made a pronouncement he thought was obvious, only to be whacked in the back of the head when the wrongness of his declaration snuck up behind him?

Anyway. Here stood Luke Skywalker--well, from a certain point of view. Fine, then. Here _was_ Luke Skywalker, facing down the First Order, laser sword in hand.

Seeing his nephew again was jarring. Ben was even taller and broader and angrier than Luke remembered. The setting wasn’t great. Luke immediately thought that he’d be given away by not leaving blood-red footprints on the salt plain. But then he remembered Ben--impulsive, impatient Ben, always in a rush to fight whatever he felt was impeding his progress.

Well, then. This would be even easier. Luke took his nephew’s furious words and absorbed them. He deserved most of them, really. Besides, a resolution wasn’t the point of this confrontation. All he was doing was buying time. 

And when he knew his sister was safe, along with her small, ragtag bunch, liberated by the Last Jedi lifting the salty rocks of Crait? 

He was free.


	9. There’s No Proof

Hux was definitely suspicious of Ren. Every time they spoke, Kylo could feel Hux’s distrust rolling off him in waves. But the suspicion was shot through with a healthy dose of fear, which Kylo found comforting.

Kylo had dipped into the General’s psyche and found many things. Paramount in Kylo’s mind was Hux’s own memory of standing over Kylo’s own prone body, ready to shoot. A little lower in Kylo’s picture was Hux’s own patricide. Though their crimes were similar, Kylo sneered at Hux delegating the deed rather than having done it himself as Kylo did. But was one murder really better than another?

And Kylo kept that at the top of his thoughts every day, even as Hux obeyed his commands, bowed to him, showed him every deference due the Supreme Leader of the First Order. Hux’s etiquette was perfect every time.

And every time, Kylo was more on guard.


	10. Of War and of Waste

Resistance forces had been decimated. The losses were devastating in terms of both personnel and materiel. 

Poe was haunted by his own role in that. And he was ashamed to remember that he’d only wanted to destroy that Dreadnought, and hadn’t considered the cost of life, or even of equipment. But meeting Rose Tico drove that home to him. 

Paige Tico had died honorably, and the recovered telemetry from her ship bore out the extent of that. Her heroism had saved the mission.

But at what cost?


	11. There Is Freedom Within

Rose drifted in and out of consciousness. She was badly hurt and in pain, she knew. But having Finn tuck a blanket around her somehow eased the pain, which she knew was nonsense. However, she was safe, and Finn was safe. She could deal with anything else later.

Her medicated dreams took her everywhere--her childhood in the Otomok system, her mission on Canto Bight, her time in the _Raddus’_ escape pod bay. She dreamed of Paige again and again, and occasionally stirred from her sleep to find herself clutching her pendant with a painful grip.

But even if Paige wasn’t with her, she had accomplished so much on her own. Rose had liberated the beautiful fathiers on Canto Bight, given hope to children who reminded her of herself and her sister, and she had kept Finn from certain suicide.

She’d saved what she loved.


	12. To Catch the Deluge

Rey would be the first to admit that the situation wasn’t ideal. The Resistance was in tatters, though the ragtag band filled the _Falcon_ well enough. 

Somehow, though, Rey still smiled easily. She’d never had this many friendly beings around her in her life, so she found it hard to be annoyed at the crowded conditions. When she opened herself to it, the gentle hum of their Force energy was soothing, even if spikes of fear and despair rode along on the general stream of battered hope. 

The General’s presence was, of course, a bright star, and Rey often sought out the older woman. The two would sit quietly together, speaking infrequently but warmly. Despite their reduced circumstances, Leia was still afforded all possible privacy, making her space perfect for Rey’s meditation. 

She’d close her eyes and expand her consciousness slowly outward, surrounding herself with the gentle current of her comrades. But wasn’t it always then that Kylo Ren appeared like a tidal wave?


	13. Barely Clearing the Roof

She got used to the gentle, ever-present rumble eventually, even finding it soothing. The rumble was sometimes interrupted by louder, more violent mechanical noises, and she soon learned that those were the times to worry. But she was gruffly reassured by her new, large, hairy friend and comforted by the soft vibration of her porglet beside her. Yes, Morgret missed the sea sometimes, but she was content.


	14. They Come

“What’s that?!” exclaimed Kaydel, startled, as an unfamiliar noise beeped forth from the questionably-rigged comm system aboard the _Falcon._ They had briefly dropped out of hyperspace to refuel and take on supplies.

Chewbacca chimed in helpfully. Rey froze in the copilot chair, then yelled, “Someone get the General!”

But nobody had to get her. Rey had barely finished shouting before Leia appeared behind Kaydel at the comm.

“Help,” Leia breathed, looking up from the screen. “Help is coming. At least one of our allies heard us.”


	15. To The Beat of a Drum

Hux loved this kind of thing. 

Kylo didn’t. Snoke had never forced him to attend these things, so he never had. 

The things that Hux so adored about the mandatory formations--the straighter-than-straight columns of stormtroopers and pilots and officers and First Order personnel of every stripe and purpose--were the exact things that Kylo loathed. Even after joining the First Order and pledging his fealty to Snoke and his loyalty to the Knights of Ren, Kylo had qualms. 

He’d never voiced these doubts, of course. He’d kept them buried deep; he didn’t need Snoke sensing his unease with the mass kidnapping of children and the aggressive education program. Some remnant of Ben Solo mourned for those thousands upon thousands of stolen childhoods. Whatever other problems he’d had, he was incapable of imagining his earliest years without the love and affection of his parents, even as flawed as it had been. 

But, Hux had convinced Kylo that the new Supreme Leader must make himself visible to “reinforce continuity of command.”

And so it was that Kylo Ren stared out over ranks upon ranks of beings under his Supreme Command, nearly as far as his eyes could see. He yearned for his mask, not only because it would hide his expression, but also because its enhanced sight would give him a better view of every life now in his hands.


	16. We Know They Won’t Win

NO. Apparently, a word could be a sensation. NO flared through Finn’s entire being, stronger than anything he’d ever felt. He willed his crummy little speeder to go faster. He would drive himself right into the barrel of that weapon before he’d let it destroy the Resistance. 

Finn felt almost lightheaded as the cannon drew ever closer, faster than it should, but still surprisingly slow given the limitations of his current transport. He barely registered the voices of his comrades, urgent, then pleading, then panicked. 

NO. Finn felt it again, his entire being having become a weapon against the system that had weaponized him as a child. How ironic that the singularity of purpose drilled into him was now inverted. Nothing would stop him. He would end this now. 

And then he felt a crash as he was thrown off course, just before he reached the mouth of the cannon.


	17. Don’t Dream It’s Over I

Leia’s sleep brought faces. Beloved, familiar faces, but still unwelcome ones. Each smile, each glance, each fleeting expression was a reminder of loss. Loss upon loss, stacked up over the years.

When she saw the faces of her adopted parents, she could take refuge in the fact that Bail and Breha Organa’s deaths had come before they even knew what was happening. The destruction of Alderaan was swift; solace came with the knowledge that her parents hadn’t suffered.

Then came the Death Star battles--Leia remembered every pilot forever consigned to the stars, even as she celebrated the survival of her brother and his friends Wedge Antilles, Wes Janson, and Nien Nunb, among others.

In fact, she’d recalled those Death Star battles while watching Resistance bombers silently wink off the radar one by one, each death a blow, even as Poe Dameron led the conquest of a First Order Dreadnaught.

And now, three more faces came to star in her dreams. The first was that of one of her very best friends. Leia Organa and Amilyn Holdo had known each other long before they were a General and a Vice-Admiral. They’d become acquainted as an ambitious young princess from Alderaan and an odd, green-haired girl from Gatalenta, both teenagers with dream-filled eyes, minds, and hearts.

The second face was that of her husband, whom she still loved fiercely with her entire heart. Leia didn’t deceive herself by rewriting the history of their relationship. It had been volatile at times, but she’d never wished for a different partner. She couldn’t imagine herself with anyone other than dear, infuriating Han, whose last living act had been to try to bring their son home.

Finally, Leia saw the face of her brother, who’d inspired both her fiercest pride and some of her deepest despair. She’d been so proud of Luke’s resurrected Jedi Academy. But she’d been laid low by his sudden decision to close the school after Ben’s betrayal. Leia’s emotions had been painful and complex--sadness for Luke’s shattered dreams, anger at the seeming ease with which he gave them up, and guilt over having unwittingly sent her brother the catalyst that brought about his downfall.


	18. Don't Dream It's Over II

Kylo Ren barely managed to keep his racing thoughts in check during his waking hours, so when he slept, all bets were off. 

Night after night, he woke suddenly, bolt upright in his bed, shaking his head as if to dislodge his dreams.

And they were simply dreams--not nightmares, which is what he would have expected. Actually, a few of his dreams of Rey were quite pleasant, and he often woke flushed and sweating, embarrassed by his stupid fantasies, even alone in his own quarters. The sweetness of each dream only contrasted the sourness of her rejection, which he felt anew each time. 

The rest of his dreams were mainly montages of his own memories, though he felt oddly detached from them, like he was watching a holo. 

He woke one day, wondering why he was dreaming of one of his mother’s friends. Ben had met her when he was a child and she was an eccentric teal-haired woman who pointed out the Gatalenta system to him on star charts and climbed trees with him. A few discreet inquiries told him that his “Aunt” Amilyn had been at the controls of the Resistance ship that rammed the _Supremacy_ at lightspeed. 

Another night, he woke suddenly with inexplicable pain in his abdomen. The pain had pulled him from a dream of the first time his father had allowed him to pilot the _Millennium Falcon._ Ben had been about twelve, and Han had sat in the co-pilot’s chair, with Chewie looking on and growling his approval behind them. That trip had been one of Ben’s favorite times ever, packed with excitement and lots of “don’t tell your mother.”

A splitting headache snatched him from sleep the night he dreamed of his uncle. The dream had confused him at first. It started with the twin suns of Tatooine, which he’d never seen in person, but knew intimately, both from Luke’s stories and his studies of Anakin Skywalker’s early life. Somehow, he was on his uncle’s and grandfather’s home planet as Luke patiently took him through little exercises to hone his control of the Force. The setting was wrong, but the memory was real. Ben had felt such triumph as he successfully levitated the colored stones, lining them up in the order Luke had asked, then set them gently on the ground. Ben had been so proud of himself, even as he pushed down the voice that spoke to him from the back of his head in moments of strong emotion.


	19. There’s a Hole in the Roof

Chewbacca was one of the first to notice the difference; his thick fur meant that he ran hotter than the humans and most of the non-human beings with them. He was used to the warm temperatures necessary to keep fragile, mostly-hairless humans comfortable, but when it rose to a degree that was uncomfortable for him, he alerted Rey.

“You’re right. It _is_ getting hot. I hadn’t noticed,” she replied. 

Chewbacca barked a laugh as he realized that she was the one human on board least likely to notice. The girl had grown up baking under the Jakku sun.

Rey and Chewbacca performed a quick systems check and mutually decided there was a fault in the cooling system somewhere in the aft portion of the ship. When they went back to perform a physical inspection, hissing steam and an acrid smell made the leak readily apparent. Chewbacca hoisted Rey up to get a better look. The fault was in the ceiling; a pipe had failed in a corner.

“My hands are smaller; I should do this,” said Rey as Chewie lowered her to the floor. She shoved a shipping crate into the corner to stand on, then clambered up. Without being asked, Chewie handed her a pair of heat-proof gloves and went about fetching the necessary tools as Rey checked the leak and surrounding areas to make sure that nothing adjacent was on the brink of failure. 

Chewbacca considered the slim woman as she fiddled with the spanner he’d handed her, mumbling softly as she went about her repairs. He’d quickly fallen into an easy partnership with Rey. She reminded him of all his favorite humans. Her aptitude for piloting and mechanical work was similar to both Luke’s and Han’s; her quick wit and stubbornness immediately brought Leia to mind. And then there was her mystical connection to the Force, which wasn’t something Chewie necessarily understood, but he respected it.

The Wookiee knew also that Rey’s connection to the Force bonded her to Ben. Chewie hadn’t quite sorted out his thoughts regarding the boy he’d treated as a beloved nephew for so many years. It was the rare night that Chewbacca didn’t dream of Han, whether it was fond memories of their escapades or the awful scene of his best friend’s murder by Kylo Ren. 

_”Kriff it!”_ snapped Rey at a particularly disagreeable bolt that sent her spanner flying. Jolted suddenly from his thoughts, Chewbacca nearly went to retrieve it for her; but he had barely completed a step as it seemingly lifted itself from the floor and smacked neatly into her hand.

There it was. Regardless of the years they’d known each other, it was never not odd to watch Luke use his power to levitate objects or himself. And it was odder still to watch a wailing baby Ben short out the lights in the nursery. Maybe it was best for people with those powers to find each other. Rey was valiant, fearless, and so smart. She deserved to be loved.

And maybe the best one to do that was Ben Solo, who Chewbacca still knew as a kind, thoughtful soul who was fierce in his defense of what he loved. However, Chewbacca didn’t know Kylo Ren, who could hang as far as he was concerned. But if anyone could kill Kylo Ren and bring back Ben, Rey was the one.


	20. Turn Right Over

Suddenly, a piece of brown fabric floated to the ground before the two Caretakers. The Caretakers stopped and examined it for a moment. Yes, yes, it was what they thought it was. The poor dear man. And they'd just been on the way to help him fix his hut. Oh, well. At least that obnoxious girl was gone.


	21. Only Shadows Ahead

Though she wasn’t Force-sensitive like her dear friend to whom she’d just wished farewell, Vice-Admiral Amilyn Holdo felt each loss nearly physically. Every transport that exploded was a blow to her heart.

That hotshot flyboy Dameron had affected her more than she liked. Despite Dameron’s recklessness, Amilyn felt sure that the best interests of the Resistance and his surviving fellows were foremost in his heart and mind. That said, her plan was strictly need-to-know, and _Captain_ Dameron simply had not needed to know.

Anyway. Thinking of the past did her no good in the present. She concentrated on making sure the last of the transports got off.

And then she was alone on the command bridge of the _Raddus._ Amilyn remembered that every transport that reached Crait safely was a seed of the Resistance. Even if only one got there? Messages had already been sent to known allied governments and independent groups. The Resistance would not die, even if all she saw in the future was darkness.

No, the Resistance would not die. And she would do her part to ensure that, even if her own life was the price of the life of the Resistance.

Vice-Admiral Amilyn Holdo engaged the hyperdrive and watched stars pierce the darkness, elongating before her for the last time.


	22. When the World Comes In

Supreme Leader Snoke couldn’t remember the last time he’d been out of the controlled atmosphere of his flagship. The _Supremacy_ provided for all of his needs; why should he ever have to subject himself to the inferior environs of some planet?

No, everything he ever needed came to him. Even his apprentice, Kylo Ren, Master of the Knights of Ren. Snoke had been singularly impressed by Ren’s pedigree.

But he’d bided his time. It had actually taken all of his patience not to snatch the boy shortly after birth. The Skywalker blood had been so tempting, even tainted as it was by Solo's blood.. Grandson of Darth Vader, nephew of the Last Jedi Luke Skywalker, son of the formidable galactic politician Princess Leia Organa . . . Yes, little Ben Solo was a perfect storm of power and symbolism.

So Snoke found his way to the little Skywalker-spawn in the cradle. And! Even if the Supreme Leader said so himself?! He’d done a perfect job of invading the little boy’s mind and instilling self-doubt and suspicion of everyone around him.

Decades later? Snoke was absolutely confident that the Skywalker-spawn was utterly in his thrall. But he hadn’t accounted for the girl. Snoke didn’t worry, though. Ren had brought the girl before him.

Utterly comfortable in his own space, Snoke was pleased with his apprentice’s gift. He could feel that Skywalker had gotten to her already. Shame, that. She had enough anger that the Darkness could have thrived in her.

The woman from Jakku made feeble attempts against Snoke. The Supreme Leader responded with mere chuckles. She was a worthy plaything. Ren had done well, and Snoke could sense his apprentice’s need for his approval.

Yes, the scavenger defied him deliciously. Snoke toyed with the idea of killing her himself but decided that he’d be more satisfied by watching Kylo Ren do it.

He spoke deliberately, to prime his apprentice for the kill. Snoke had stolen her weapon, rendered her helpless; all that was left was for Kylo Ren to deal the killing blow. Yes. He could see that Ren understood him. How easy it was to influence Vader’s heir. Snoke chuckled to himself as his words spurred Kylo Ren toward the murder of his enemy.

Lightsabers were so efficient, really. Snoke had only a split second to register that he was being murdered.


	23. Don’t Dream It’s Over III

Rey slept surprisingly soundly. It had taken some doing, but gradually, her body and unconscious mind realized that she was no longer on Jakku, where she might have to leap up and defend herself and her home at a moment’s notice.

She’d never actually enjoyed sleep before, only considering it a necessity to keep her body running; for Rey, it fit into the same category as the tasteless portions she consumed to fuel herself.

Her bunk on the Falcon was hardly palatial, but it was comfortable enough, and it was a space that was only hers, solely for her own rest. Over several weeks, Rey came to enjoy a bit of lazing about in her bed. She’d never before known the feeling of extending her sleep simply to chase after a dream. Now, though, she understood the feeling. Some of her dreams warmed her body and left her nerve endings buzzing, tingles radiating from the fingertips of her right hand. She'd wake, breathless, with that same right hand pressed to her lips as if she could somehow transfer Ben's touch. On those occasions, Rey would sit up in her bed, her face burning with what she told herself was shame. 

Rey had also reached out to snatch at dreams of Han Solo, and she wasn’t sure why. She’d only known the man for a few days. Granted, she’d idolized him a bit before that, and now that she was in a--well, some sort of situation with Han’s son, she wanted to know more. It was odd that her own mind had decided to set aside the patricide she’d witnessed with her own eyes. But. Here she was. Rey’s sleeping mind gave her so many different scenes. Rey and Ben and Han and Chewie, all together on the Falcon. Dream-Rey found herself chuckling a little at the gruff, snarky relationship between father and son and the affectionate, protective relationship between Wookiee and adopted nephew.

Though her dreams of Han Solo were fanciful, Rey’s other dreams were very painfully based in stark reality. She was haunted by the destruction of the Resistance transports; she was angry at herself for thinking Ben might stop it. No, Kylo Ren just wanted to watch everything burn. And that sort of nihilism wasn’t something Rey could get on board with. Rey remembered the cataclysmic impact that had occurred right as she and Kylo Ren fought over Anakin Skywalker’s lightsaber; each tugging with the Force, each determined to claim it. She recalled the moment when a catastrophic bang and flash had rendered them both unconscious. When Rey came to, the Supremacy was wounded and floundering. She took the opportunity to find her way to safety, even as much as she wanted to go to Ben’s prone form and make sure he was safe.

Rey’s dream of her time aboard the _Supremacy_ was disturbing, because the memories were just so real. Her dreams of Luke were more abstract. As she sat in the Falcon’s gunner chair over Crait, she had a very, very strong sense of Luke. She didn’t know why until Chewie told her later exactly who’d preceded her in that chair. Both Luke and Leia had presided over the guns at different points. Rey had felt Luke as she flew over Crait, as she drew off the TIE fighters, but she wasn’t sure why. She’d figured that her own brain had served up the wild images of Luke confronting Kylo Ren. It was only later that she was told of her would-be mentor, facing down the First Order, laser sword in hand. Rey could only shake her head when she woke.


	24. Liberation and Release

Sometimes, it was good to be Supreme Leader. When the Supreme Leader demanded his ship, nobody asked any questions. If anyone remarked on Kylo Ren’s requests for his TIE Silencer, it never reached Ren’s ears. Kylo noted that Hux seemed to have assigned an officer whose sole task was overseeing the Silencer. Though Ren and Hux seemed to have reached an uneasy truce, suspicion of Hux was never far from Ren’s mind.

Every time Kylo went out, he performed his own checks before even getting on board his own ship. He didn’t put anything past Hux, and an “accident” while Ren flew his own ship would be just the thing a coward like Hux would choose to ensure Ren’s demise.

So, each time, he conducted a thorough mental probe of the officer assigned to maintain the Silencer. The brutality of the probe depended on Ren’s mood. Sometimes it was an imperceptible _swish._ Sometimes, the officer wound up howling on the deck as his mind was ravaged.

Even after getting past the officer, Kylo conducted his own physical inspection of his fighter. He shook off the echoes of the things his father had taught him, even as he checked for the telling signs of sabotage that Han had cautioned against. If he concentrated, Kylo was even able to send his Force-sense through the ship’s mechanics. He’d never found any sort of tampering, though. He never thought he would. Hux wasn’t smart enough to mess with anything small.

However, since his childhood, Ben had learned to love the singing in the wires. A well-maintained ship called to him, its perfection beckoning him to revel in it. In his more introspective moments, Ben knew that his father had felt the same thing, and not for the first time, he wondered if Han hadn’t had some latent Force-sensitivity, and he wondered if his mother hadn’t picked up on that, either consciously or unconsciously. Han’s instincts had served him well all his life, and as she witnessed it, Leia had learned to trust Han’s instincts with very few questions.

Once his sense of security was satisfied, Kylo clambered into the cockpit of his fighter, one that had been designed exactly to his own specifications and requests. The Silencer felt as comfortable as his bed.

He charted meandering courses, destination nowhere, flying simply to clear his head, even as he knew that his head would never be completely clear. The fact of the matter was that he could clear his head of nearly anything--his Supreme Leadership, Hux, the entire First Order, the fight against the Republic and the Resistance--but the one thing he could not shake from his head was the scav--Rey.

He thought of Rey often as he zipped through the stars, grudgingly staying within range of the First Order’s sensors. Ben knew how much Rey loved to fly, knew her awe and wonder every minute she sat at the controls of any starship. Her feelings were so strong that Ben felt slightly guilty--to Rey, starships meant freedom, and they meant power, and they meant finding something better. Ben had never had to worry about those things--as the son and nephew of heroes, he was guaranteed freedom and power; he’d never really had to think of desperately trying to find something better than his present circumstances.

So, he used his meandering flights in his Silencer to mull over his thoughts of Rey, and even to use the Force to give her his feelings of joy and happiness as he flew, spinning and flipping and doing ridiculous tricks. Kylo offered her liberation and release, if only she’d come to him. Ben needed her to know that his offer still stood.


	25. Don’t Dream It’s Over IV

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This is a bonus chapter that I dithered over including with the rest. However, I now have a gorgeous moodboard, courtesy of Lyssa. It's too nice not to share with you!

Both Leia’s waking thoughts and dreams brought her son’s face to her mind’s eye. She’d felt him as she stood on the bridge; she’d felt him deciding not to kill her, sensed his hesitation, his finger on the button but unable to press. It was Ben’s wingman who’d fired on the bridge. 

Ben knew his mother lived. He wasn’t sure how Leia had survived his wingman’s kill shot on the bridge. But alive, she was. Supreme Leader Kylo Ren didn’t even need to ask questions or consult intelligence reports to find out his mother’s fate. Ben would have felt it; he was sure. 

The General dreamed of her son, couldn’t help imagining her hand on his beloved face. Leia saw so much of Han in Ben’s face. Even as her thoughts railed against her husband’s murderer, she only wanted to cuddle her son and soothe away the staggering doubt and self-hatred and sadness that had caused him to turn to the Dark. More mornings than she cared to count, Leia woke with tears on her face.

The Supreme Leader knew that Leia Organa lived. That fact upset him less than it should. Ben remembered his mother hugging him goodbye and telling him that she was always with him. And she was. Ben’s world moved, but she was right there with it. He couldn’t imagine his existence without his sense of her, no matter the distance between them.

**Author's Note:**

> As quite a few of you have noticed, each chapter title is a line from Crowded House's "Don't Dream It's Over." It's been one of my very favorite songs for a long time. Upon listening to it again after seeing TLJ, I was struck by the way the song evoked so many different scenes from before, during and after the movie. Rather than pick one, I wrote all of them. The stories appear in the order they were written. I had a blast doing this. While I wrote these, I had a playlist of over thirty different versions of the song rotating. I can't tell you how many times I've heard it by now. And I still love it!
> 
> Thank you to Lyssa, my dear friend, cheerleader, beta, and maker of moodboards. Thank you also to Neil Finn, Glen Campbell, and David Byrne.
> 
>  
> 
> [Watch "Don't Dream It's Over" on YouTube](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=J9gKyRmic20)


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